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Do You Google Your New Dates?
The Internet has become a huge part of our lives and many of us now take Googling and Internet searching for granted. But when you meet someone new, whether online or in real life, do you Google them and is it a good idea?
Googling a new date is so tempting. It’s intriguing to find more about they’re interested, whether they tweet or not, if they have a Facebook profile, if they write a blog and even who they’ve dated before. Depending on their name, how easily findable they are and whether they’ve active in social networking, all this type of information can be relatively easily obtained from a simple Google search.
But whilst you may be curious to learn more about your date, is it really a good idea to Google them before you’ve been on your first date?
The Pros of Googling Your Date
If you’ve met someone online, then there can be some obvious pros of carrying out a quick Internet search on them.
* You can check out the basic facts they’ve given you and try and find out whether they’re who they say they are and are a genuine individual.
* You may be able to find out whether they work where they say they do.
* You may be able to find photos of them, such as on their Facebook profile, and see whether the pic they’ve sent you is up-to-date or not (some chancers may send pics that are of them 10 years ago!).
* If you do find any worrying facts, then you’ve got the chance to pull out of the date.
The Cons of Googling Your Date
But as much as there are some benefits to be had from looking up your date, doing so before you’ve even met for the first time can have some downsides too.
* Sometimes you might not always like what you find.
* You may uncover facts about your date that they’ve chosen to not tell you yet and knowing them may make things awkward for you.
* You may discover their exes, or that they’ve been married before and haven’t told you.
So, before you hit the search engines and dig the dirt on your date, think about whether you’re prepared to face the truth about what you find. And what would you think if your date Googled you?
Are Discount Coupons Acceptable to Use on Dates?
Half price dates
Dating can be an expensive affair. Even if you’re splitting the bills with your dates, there are meals and drinks to pay for, theatre or cinema tickets to buy and the cost of transport to and from your day or night out. So, given the chance, is it acceptable to use discount coupons to help stretch your budget when dating?
It’s a tricky issue. On the one hand, using a discount coupon to get reduced price entry to a local attraction, a few starter if you buy a main course at a restaurant or buy one get one free on cinema tickets are all highly tempting offers. If you’re going on lots of dates whilst trying to find the right person, or on lots of dates with one person, then the cost of it all can add up.
But even though it may make you feel better to save a few dollars here and there, your date may not be so impressed. What’s more, the situation may be harder to judge when you’ve only just met.
When It’s Not Acceptable to Use Discount Coupons on Dates
The worst time to pull out your discount coupon and make a saving has to be on the first date. This is a time when first impressions count more than anything else and using discount coupons can easily be seen as a negative action.
For someone that doesn’t know you well yet, you may get viewed as a cheapskate for trying to save money, which is probably not the impression you’re trying to achieve.
When It May be Acceptable to Use Discount Coupons on Dates
Although first dates aren’t the most appropriate times to use discount coupons, there are other dating situations when they’re more acceptable.
After you’ve been on a few dates with the same person and have been seen to pay full price for these, then announcing that you’ve discovered a fantastic deal and want to share it with them may go down well.
If you find a deal that you can organise in advance, such as buying a meal to cook at home on special offer or buying tickets with a discount in advance, then you could sneakily get away with making use of discounts without having to declare it to your date. Depending on the nature of the deal, then this could work in your favour if your date thinks you’re spending more than you actually are!
My Worst Date!
The perfect Gentleman
I had my fair share of horrible dates, but in my first semester at University I went on a date and nearly everything went wrong. I was absolutely obsessed with this guy at University as I thought he was the cutest one in all of my classes. I tried to get his attention on every occasion, whether it was in class, during lunch in the cafeteria or in the University Park. One day my prayers were heard and he took me out for dinner. I thought I would freak if my friends wouldn’t have helped me out. After long discussions about what to wear, where to go and what to talk about, the time and place were set and I was in my room getting ready.
In Need Of A Jump Start
I went for my lovely new white blouse that I just bought that day and skinny jeans. I look elegant but never the less relaxed and not up tight. At exactly 10 to 8 pm he picked me up at my dorm and we were ready to go. The first thing I noticed when I got into his car was that I had terrible sweat marks, of course: I was nervous as hell, but thankfully I wore white so you couldn’t really see them. He was an absolute gentleman during the whole ride to the Italian place my friends and I chose. We talked about our day, about our paper that was due for our class next week; all in all I thought that this date was going to be great!
The Grand Finale
Spaghetti Accident on White Blouse
I apparently thought wrong. Once we came arrived at the restaurant everything seemed to be going off track. First our reservation, more like my reservation as I called, got lost and we didn’t have a table and had to wait by the bar. After endlessly long 20 minutes we got a table and were nearly ready famished. The menu looked fantastic so we straight away ordered. I took Pasta Bolognese and he went for Pizza Diablo. The food was delicious and so was our conversation, we seemed to have lots in common. On one of my last bites the waitress brushed passed me and my pasta landed on my brand new WHITE blouse. After my sweat marks and my lost reservation, I thought that this was the last strike. But when I came back from the toilet where I tried to clean up as much as possible my EX-BOYFRIEND was talking to my date. I thought I’d go berserk! He was sitting a few seats behind us with his new girlfriend and he recognized me when I went to the bathroom and thought it’ll be great if he stopped by and said “hi”. But unfortunately he didn’t just say hi, he also commented on my charming spaghetti sauce smear and that I forgot to take the tag of my blouse. I absolutely wished for the earth to open and swallow me whole. That was possibly one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.
All Is Well That Ends Well
My evening didn’t go very well and Mike, my date, took me home after we paid for dinner. I just wanted to crawl under my bedcovers to never being sighted again. We parked and he brought me to my door. After another embarrassing moment of silence, he actually admitted to having had fun that night and that he would love to take me out again, minus all the “oops-a-daisies”. I agreed to that and said that it was probably best if we started of light, which we did at lunch the next day. There was no white blouse, no spaghetti sauce, no ex-boyfriend and no tag, but lots of Mike and me!
Dating Ideas That Don’t Involve Drinking
Take a walk with your date
A lot of dating ideas tend to revolve around drinking. Whilst it’s a pleasant social activity and something many people enjoy, plus it helps calm those dating nerves, you don’t always want to meet in the pub. Here are some dating ideas that don’t involve drinking alcohol, so there’s no chance of you drinking too much and embarrasing yourself!
Spectator Sport Dates
If you’ve discovered that you and your date share a love for a certain sport, then why not arrange to get tickets to a sporting event that you’ll both enjoy?
It’s a sure-fire way of appealing to both your interests, may well involve spending more time together than you would in a pub and is a good way to get to know someone.
Sporting Dates
If you want to do more than just watch a sport, then you could try playing sport together. If you both love tennis or badminton, then book a court and play a game together. When you’ve thrashed each other, you can head off for a quiet coffee afterwards.
Walking Dates
Gentle walking, or hiking for the more adventurous, is a nice way of being side by side your date, but also getting some exercise too. If you’re not doing any strenuous walking, then gently ambling in the countryside or walking by the sea provides plenty of opportunities to get to know your date.
If you both enjoy hiking, then you could choose a route together and set off into the hills for the day. Shared activities like this can be a great way of cementing a relationship.
Theatre Dates
For those of you that love the theatre, then a date out to see the latest play or stage musical can be most enjoyable. Although you’ll both be quiet during the play, there are lots of good opportunities to hold hands and snuggle up in the dark. Afterwards you can head off elsewhere to get to know each other better.
Live Music Dates
If you share a love for a particular band or group, then make a date to go to a live concert together. Concerts have a great atmosphere and, when the adrenalin is flowing and you’re dancing together in a crowd, you can have a great night out – even without drinking alcohol!
20 First Date Conversation Ideas
Keep dating conversation flowering
First dates can be nerve wracking for all concerned and it’s normal to feel a bit lost for words at times. There’s nothing worse though than awkward silences when you can’t think what to say and your date goes quite too, or conversations that start off well, but falter and end very quickly.
Asking questions is always a good way of promoting discussion, but simple questions that can be easily answered with ‘yes’ or ‘no’ aren’t ideal, as they can stop before they really get started. The key to good conversation is to ask leading questions – questions that someone else needs to get stuck into answering with a sentence or two, rather than a short response, and ideally when they’re able to share information about themselves or their views in the process.
To help you achieve the most from your first date, learn about the interests of your date and avoid any awkward moments, here are 20 first date conversation ideas. They’re all leading questions that you can use to get to know your date and fill in quiet moments – just don’t forget to give him or her the chance to ask you questions too!
1. What hobbies do you have?
2. What’s your favourite way of relaxing?
3. What do you like to do at the weekends?
4. What music/bands do you like?
5. What would your perfect day consist of? (Note: You could try and make this into a future date!).
6. What’s the best holiday you’ve ever had?
7. What places would you love to visit?
8. If you found a £50 note on the pavement, what would you do with it?
9. What was your first car?
10. If you had the chance to be granted three wishes, what would they be?
12. If you had superpowers, what would they be?
13. What did you want to be when you grew up?
14. What do you like most about the job you do and what do you dislike?
15. If you won the lottery, what would you spend the winnings on?
16. What do you like most about women/men?
17. What’s the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever had?
18. What’s your favourite meal?
19. Which food or drink could you not live without?
20. What’s your most annoying habit?
If you don’t get through all these questions on your first date, then hang onto some for your second date. Take note of relevant thoughts and ideas that you glean from the answers that get shared and see how you could incorporate them in romantic days out, trips or further dates. Above all, have fun and enjoy your date!
7 Reasons Why Men Say No to a Second Date
Is her mind on you?
We’ve already looked at seven reasons why women turn down a second date, but now it’s time to look at why men may run a mile from another date with a woman!
1. You didn’t seem interested in him.
Paying a bit of attention to your date is pretty essential. If a woman ignores a man, doesn’t ask questions about his likes and dislikes and fails to engage in much eye contact, then you give the impression of not being interested.
2. You talked too much about yourself.
It’s always good to share details about yourself, but there’s a fine line between sharing information and dominating the conversation by endlessly talking about you, you, you! Get that balance wrong and he won’t be keen to endure another date with you.
3. You used Twitter and Facebook during the date.
It’s fine to enjoy using Twitter and Facebook and not surprising that you may want to share news of how your date went – but save it until afterwards! Getting your phone out, sending Tweets or updating your Facebook status during the date is just plain rude.
4. You talked about your ex boyfriend.
At some point when you’re dating, a conversation about your ex’s will inevitably happen, but the first date is not the time or place. If you talk about your ex boyfriend, whether in a friendly or disparaging way, it’s no wonder your date doesn’t want to come back for seconds.
5. You didn’t make an effort with your look.
It’s a sad fact, but looks do matter on a date and it does help if you’ve made an effort with getting ready. If you went straight out from work without changing, didn’t apply fresh make-up or run a brush through tangled hair, then you give the impression to a man that you’re not bothered. Who can blame him to look elsewhere for another date?
6. You didn’t seem tactile.
It may have been your first date, but a little bit of willingness to show signs of being tactile would have helped. If you pulled your hand away from being held or brushed his arm away from your shoulder, then you’ve given the impression of not being keen on physical contact.
7. You didn’t offer to pay.
Some men may like to pay for the first date activities, be it a meal, drinks or cinema trip, but it’s always polite to offer to pay your share. Failing to offer to pay at all, and give the impression that you assume he’ll pay doesn’t bode too well in the impression stakes. No wonder he’s not keen to go on a second date.
5 Texting Dating Scenarios to Avoid
Be careful with texting
Texting has become a major part of many people’s lives and it’s as normal now to send a text as it was in the past to pick up the phone. But when you’re dating, texting isn’t always the best form of communication. Here are five classic texting scenarios to be aware of and avoid where you can!
1. Don’t send vague texts
The limited space on a text can limit how much information you’re able to send on a single message. If there’s not room to fully express yourself, and the limited text you send could end up rather vague, then don’t send it at all. Email instead or wait until you see your date in person.
2. Don’t text your friends when you’re on a date.
Being on a date with someone that seems to be constantly attached to their phone, especially when they’re texting, instantly gives the impression that you’re bored with their company. Don’t get tempted to reply to all and sundry when you’re on your date. Unless it’s a really important text, ignore it until later and give your date your full, focused attention.
3. Don’t tease by text
Texting can be great for flirting, but there’s a fine line between sending flirty texts and teasing texts. If you’re early on in your relationship with your date and aren’t 100% sure if they totally get your sense of humour or will understand your teasing via texts, then err on the side of caution and don’t tease them by text just yet.
4. Don’t get carried away with txt talk
Not everyone loves abbreviated text talk or understands it. Whilst it can be fun to exchange texts with your date, it’s not so great if what you send comes across as undecipherable goobldegook. There’s no harm in using occasional abbreviations that most people will understand – “It was gr8 to c u,” for example – but don’t write entire text messages in abbreviations that may not be recognised.
5. Don’t break up by text
Texting can be useful for many things, but breaking up with your date is certainly not one of them. It’s rude and your date deserves more than just a text to tell them things aren’t working out.
7 Reasons Why Women Say No to a Second Date
No second date
Ever wondered why a woman turned down your suggestion of a second date? If you thought your first date went really well, and can’t understand why a second date was refused, read on to discover 7 common reasons why women say no to a second date!
1. You didn’t make a good first impression.
First impressions count on dates and, for whatever reason, if your date didn’t take to you immediately, then that can make it or break it as far as moving onto another date goes.
2. You didn’t dress for the occasion.
Even if you don’t care two hoots about your appearance the rest of the time, it’s really important to look your best for your first date. If you didn’t change your t-shirt, had a stain on your tie or wore crumpled old clothes to a really smart restaurant, then you can’t blame a woman for being less than impressed.
3. You talked too much about yourself.
There’s a subtle art to first date conversation and, as important as it is to share some facts about you, your life and your interests, harping on forever about yourself forever can have a massive overkill effect.
4. You didn’t talk enough.
Balance is vitally important and if you didn’t talk enough then your date can be put off too. The ideal first date conversation includes plenty of input from both of you. If you can remember uncomfortable silences when neither of you spoke, or you didn’t end up chatting much at all, then no wonder she doesn’t want to go on a second date.
5. You didn’t leave your mobile phone alone.
Tweeting, texting, checking emails or taking phone calls whilst on a date can be an instant attraction killer. If you’re seen to be in love with your mobile phone and more interested in that than the woman you’re supposed to be wooing, then it’s no surprise she’s not up for meeting again.
6. You got drunk.
A little bit of alcohol can calm date nerves tremendously, but getting drunk on your first is a big no-no. Slurring your words, staggering on your feet and generally being drunk don’t make a sexy or appealing impression.
7. You got too frisky.
For some, this may go hand-in-hand with getting drunk, but if you got a bit too frisky on your first date, without being sure that your date appreciated your actions, then this can be a dead cert second date killer.
4 First Date Preparation Tips
First dates are all about making a good first impression and this is especially so when you’re moving from chatting online to meeting in person. As well as looking your best, successful date preparation involves being organised in other ways too. Read on to discover our four top tips for essential first date preparation.
1. Swot Up on Emails Before Your Date
It’s not unusual for people to be in contact with several potential dates, especially if using an online dating site. Before your date, make sure you swot up on the emails and messages you’ve exchanged – it is not a good first impression to start mixing people up and can be a real conversation and date killer.
2. Choose an Appropriate Date Setting
Use the knowledge you’ve gained about your date from chatting online to pick an appropriate date setting. Meeting in a club may seem fine to you, but if your date has commented that they don’t like noisy clubs and prefer quiet locations, then the date will be a dud before you even get there.
3. Speak On The Phone
If you’ve only ever exchanged emails or texts, it’s helpful to have at least spoken to your date on the phone once or twice before you meet for the first time. You may find that you don’t like the sound of him, you can’t understand his accent or that she doesn’t get your jokes.
You might want to still give the date a go anyway, but if you don’t fancy it anymore, then at least it will save you both time, effort and money.
4. Be Clear About Where You’re Meeting
There’s nothing worse than waiting for ages for your date to turn up, only to discover you’re been waiting in the wrong place. So in your date preparation, be clear about exactly where you’re meeting and make sure the other person knows the details.
Some stations have two or more entrances and exits, for example, and there may be bars or restaurants with the same name, but in different locations. In case of confusion, give your date a postcode or email a link to a streetmap, so you’ll know they’ve got the right information before you set off.
How to Cancel a Date
Call and cancel
If you’ve agreed to go on a date with someone, but then find yourself having second thoughts or wondering whether it’s really such a good idea, how do you cancel the date? Here are five practical do’s and don’t’s for cancelling dates.
1. Don’t just ignore it and not turn up
However awkward you feel about cancelling a date, it’s never a good idea to just ignore it and not turn up. Apart from the fact that it’s simply not a polite or nice thing to do, if your date has made special arrangements to meet you and travelled far, then they may be left out of pocket too.
2. Do be honest and say you can’t go.
Honesty is usually the best policy and it’s far better to be honest in advance and say you can’t make the date as planned, than leave your date high and dry.
3. But don’t be too honest about why!
The only thing to be aware of when cancelling a date is being too honest. If you’d agreed to go on a date with someone out of pity, because your friend told you to, because you didn’t have anything else on, or because you couldn’t get any other dates, then don’t tell them that.
Whilst honesty is good, too much brutal honesty is going too far. Don’t feel you’ve got to tell your date exactly why you’re cancelling, just stick with a line that you can’t make it.
4. Don’t leave it until the last minute to cancel
If you’re going to cancel a date, and have been thinking about it for a while, then please don’t leave it until the last minute to cancel. At least give your date a bit of notice if you can, so they can make alternative arrangements, rather than being left with no other options for the day.
5. Do have courage!
If you’re having a bit of a wobble and a worry about going on a date, and are thinking of cancelling it, then don’t do it before you’ve thought it through properly. It’s normal to experience first date nerves, especially when going on a date with someone you’ve met online.
Think it through carefully before you abandon the idea – after all, he or she could turn out to be your dream date!
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